Three Passions I have Lived For
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life:
the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy—
ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of my life for a few hours for this joy.
I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness—
that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss.
I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.
This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what—at last—I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine…
A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens.
But always pity brought me back to earth.
Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart.
Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons,
and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
吾之三愿
——贝特兰·罗素
吾生三愿，纯朴却激越：
一曰渴望爱情，二曰求索知识，三曰悲悯吾类之无尽苦难。
此三愿，如疾风，迫吾无助飘零于苦水深海之上，直达绝望之彼岸。
吾求爱，盖因其赐吾狂喜——
狂喜之剧足令吾舍此生而享其片刻；
吾求爱，亦因其可驱寂寞之感，
吾人每生寂寞之情辄兢兢俯视天地之缘，而见绝望之无底深渊；
吾求爱还因若得爱，即可窥视圣哲诗人所见之神秘天国。
此吾生之所求，虽虑其之至美而恐终不为凡人所得，亦可谓吾之所得也。
吾求知亦怀斯激情。
吾愿闻人之所思，亦愿知星之何以闪光……
吾仅得此而已，无他。
爱与知并力，几携吾入天国之门，
然终为悲悯之心拖拽未果。
痛苦之吟常萦绕吾心：受饥饿之婴，遭压迫之民，为儿女遗弃之无助老叟，
加之天下之孤寂、贫穷、苦痛，具令吾类之生难以卒睹。
吾愿穷毕生之力释之，然终不能遂愿，因亦悲极。
吾生若此而已，然吾颇感未枉此生；若得天允，当乐而重为之。
我为何而活 伯兰特.罗素
三种简单却极其强烈的情感主宰着我的生活：
对爱的渴望、对知识的追求、对人类痛苦的难以承受的怜悯之心。
这三种情感，像一阵阵飓风一样，任意地将我吹的飘来荡去，越过痛苦的海洋，抵达绝望的彼岸。
我寻找爱，首先，因为它令人心醉神迷，这种沉醉是如此美妙，以至于我愿意用余生来换取那几个小时的快乐。
我寻找爱，其次是因为它会减轻孤独，置身于那种可怕的孤独中，颤抖的灵魂在世界的边缘，看到冰冷的、死寂的、无底深渊。
我寻找爱，还因为在爱水乳交融时，在一个神秘的缩影中，我见到了先贤和诗人们所想象的、预览的天堂。
这就是我所追求的，尽管对于凡人来说，这好像是一种奢望。但这是我最终找到的。
我曾以同样的热情来追求知识。
我希望能理解人类的心灵，希望能知道为什么星星会发光。
我也曾经努力理解毕达哥拉斯学派的理论，他们认为数字主载着万物的此消彼长。我了解了一点知识，但是不多。
爱和知识，可以最大可能地，将人带入天堂。
可是，怜悯总是将我带回地面。
人们因痛苦而发出的哭声在我心中久久回响，那些饥荒中的孩子们，被压迫者摧残的受害者们，被子女视为可憎负担的、无助的老人们，以及那无处不在的孤单、贫穷和无助都在讽刺着人类所本应该有的生活。
我渴望能够消除人世间的邪恶，可是力不从心，我自己也同样遭受着它们的折磨。
这就是我的生活。我觉得活一场是值得的。如果给我机会的话，我愿意开心地，再活一次。